Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Are We Equal?

If you're a helpless old woman in a wheelchair, I'm pretty sure I could kick your ass. And I know I could kick a baby's ass. I mean, a helpless old woman in a wheelchair, she still might be packing, right? A baby's not armed. Give a baby a gun. Tell him, "Defend yourself, baby. Carmichael's coming, and he's mad." What's baby gonna do? Nothing. Baby is helpless, man. That is one non-viable human being.

So how are we equal? We're not, right? And that's pagan thought. Babies are second-class citizens. Hell, they're weaker than women and children. Babies are fourth-class citizens. The only thing you have to worry about in any throwdown with a baby, is that maybe he has some relative who likes him. And the relative fucks you up. But vis-à-vis baby, you ain't got shit to worry about. That fight is over. Baby is all, "Goo goo, goo goo goo, gah." And you're all, shake shake shake, and baby is dead. So that was easy.

Christians object to this. Jews object too. Jews objected first, and then the Christians objected. And the pagan is like, "What the fuck, man? It was a fair fight. Survival of the fittest. Darwin, Darwin." 

The Christian objection is that we are all children of God. I think that's the Jewish objection too. It’s definitely Christian dogma. We are all children of God, and it is a huge sin to kill your brother. Or your sister. Or your baby.

When we say, "No State shall...deny to any person...the equal protection of the laws," what are we saying? We are saying that you have to apply the same rule to other people that you apply to yourself. Equal protection is like a secular version of the golden rule. Do Unto Others.

So we have this rule, do not kill. Equal protection requires that you apply this rule to all people. Would you like some big asshole picking you up off the ground and shaking you until you die? No, you would not. Baby-killing violates equal protection. Killing retarded children violates equal protection. Picking the weak ones out, dehumanizing them and killing them, violates equal protection.

This is true even if these people are in fact weaker than we are. When we moderns say, "Equality," we are not insisting that every individual is as physically strong as every other individual. Equality is not based on biology. It is not based on physical observation. If I am in a cage match with a baby, all the serious betting money is going to be on me, right? Even if I am a out of shape. Cause a baby is tiny, man.

Opposition to infanticide is based on an ideology of equality that we impose on nature. You cannot kill a baby. You cannot abandon a baby to die. Indeed, babies are so weak, we impose statutory duties on parents to feed and take care of their babies. It's affirmative action for babies. If you kill your baby--even a baby you brought into this world--if you commit infanticide, the Man comes and smacks you down. And we applaud, because killing the weak is evil Platonic shit.

Yes, welcome to Judeo-Christianity. You pagans can hang out, but it's our rules, man. And in Roe v. Wade, Blackmun overturns our rules, without any clear legal authority. And he cites frickin' pagan law to do it. Of course this is going to infuriate any Christian paying attention. How could it not?

It's hard to see how Blackmun's opinion could have been any more incompetent. He defines people as legal objects, resting upon a Supreme Court theory of "person" last seen in pro-slavery caselaw. He dictates a viability doctrine that manages to simultaneously be arbitrary and drawn from pagan theories about infanticide. He ignores his own Oath to follow our Constitution, as his secret memo makes clear, while in his public opinion he invites doctors to ignore their own Hippocratic Oath. And, oh yeah, we "need not resolve" if the baby is alive or not, or whether an abortion will kill her.

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