Monday, June 28, 2010

Abortion Is a Football

Forget the baby. Let's take the baby out of our abortion debate. The baby's a football, a political football. We'll say abortion has nothing to do with babies. Now it's a war between the sexes, a fight over equality. And women need abortion in order to achieve equality. Does this argument even work?

"It's my body. It's my choice."

"Don't I have a say? I put the football in there."

"I know you did. It's my body. I don't want your football."

"I want the football."

"You can't have the football. I'm terminating the football."

"You can't kill my football."

"Don't be an idiot. I don't even like you."

"I am going to sue to stop you from destroying my football."

Football destroyed. In the Equality Super Bowl, that would be Women 1, Men 0. Better luck in round two, guys.

"It's my body. It's my choice."

"I don't want a football."

"Well, I want a football. We're having a football."

"You don't even like football."

"I like football! I'm going to cry. I can't believe you said that to me."

"It's not even a football. It's a glob of leather."

"It's a football. And you are going to pay me football support for eighteen years."

Football kept. In the Equality Super Bowl, that would be Women 2, Men 0.

"It's my body. It's my choice."

"I am not playing football with you, girlie. Forget it."

"But we made this football together."

"I don't love you, I don't like you, I'm not playing with you, ever."

"Oh my God."

"Here's some money. Get rid of the football."

"I'm keeping it. You'll have to pay football support."

"No I won't. It's not my football. How do I know that's my football?"

"It's your football!"

"I've seen you, playing football with Bob."

"I did not play football with Bob."

"I am running to South America, where they only play soccer. And you will have no football support from me, ever."

"You are so evil."

Okay, we got one. Playing kind of rough. Women 2, Men 1.

"It's my body. It's my choice."

"Yeah, whatever."


"I don't care."

"What do you mean, you don't care?"

"It's your body. It's your choice."

"But how can you not care?"

"I don't care."

"Do you want the football?"

"What does it matter what I want? You do what you want to do."

"This affects both of us."


"I can't believe you don't care about the football."

"Why should I care? It's your football."

I don't know. Are we tied? Is it equality yet?

I personally think the feminist idea that moving sexual relations closer to the pagan model is a net boon for women is a questionable assumption at best. One can certainly argue that a society where men feel a responsibility for the babies they create, and a duty not to sport-fuck women, might be a better society for women. Or not. I do sort of think that this debate might be better decided by women and men in the society, and not by our unelected superiors.

Yes, Roe gives us an option, but those options are not pleasant for women. In the Supreme Court abortion caselaw, the woman is isolated. The Court is seemingly oblivious to how abortion will affect men and their behavior towards women.

Roe might have some unintended and bad side effects for women and their relations with men. And this is when we assume the baby is a football. If we assume the baby is a baby, all these discussions are uglier and meaner. 

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