Tuesday, June 22, 2010


Perhaps in the future we will be able to run a DNA test on our embryos, and keep the ones who have blonde hair and blue eyes, and abort the rest. We can eliminate those embryos whose skin is too dark, or who are too short. Perhaps we can find that elusive gay gene and abort those queer babies. We can abort the ugly, the fat, the stupid.

Currently, all we can do is abort girls and the handicapped. I know, it's sad how little we can do. For most of us, abortion is kind of like the wild west. We're aborting willy-nilly, without regard to what the hell we're doing. In the future we can be selective, and really get specific about our choices. It's very exciting. "I want a tall, dark, handsome baby, cancer-free, please. And no retards."

Well, we baby consumers can't order up our babies tall, dark, and handsome (yet), but we can certainly refuse to accept any retards. Defending partial-birth abortion with zest and zeal, Justice Ginsburg writes in a footnote, "Nearly all women carrying fetuses with the most serious central nervous system anomalies chose to abort their pregnancies."

Of course they do, cause as we all know, retards suck. We hate retards. 90% of all babies with Down's Syndrome are eliminated in our country, thanks to Roe v. Wade. The liberal dream of eugenics is here at last. Yea! Better breeding through selective abortion. Just think, in the future we won't have to undergo surgery to improve our body, cause mommy and daddy will eliminate our ugly ass in the womb.

Justice Ginsburg is too polite to define "anomalies," but we know what she means. Those people. Retards, blind babies, deaf babies, handicapped babies. You know, the defective ones.

I mean, human reproduction, when you get right down to it, is rather like making a machine in a factory.

"Hey, Hal, we got an anomaly on fetus number four."

"Oh man. Stop production. We need to start over."

The only downside that I can think of is that we'll be up to our ass in tiny dead babies. All those ugly, stupid, short, fat, dark-skinned, handicapped unmentionables. I mean, we'll just have piles and piles of 'em. I don't know if you've noticed this, but the beautiful people are way out-numbered by the lesser beings. How are we going to build our liberal utopia with heaps and heaps of tiny ugly cadavers everywhere?

Maybe we can use 'em as a fuel source. Or dog food, always an option.

Hopefully we'll be able to sort out all this DNA-stuff on embryos. Cause embryos are tiny, man. Right now, we diagnose Down's in the third trimester. Huge pain in the ass. You spend nine months being pregnant and then you find out something's wrong with the little bastard. I want my money back. This is not what I ordered. Refund, refund.

Liberals are like, "We tried to give you free abortions but the damn Republicans wouldn't pay for it."

I know, I know, you just want a normal child. Sing it, Ruthie!

"Anomaly, anomaly, we all hate anomalies.
Anomaly, anomaly, oh we hate anomalies.
You are odd, you are weird, low I.Q and kinda queer
Anomaly, anomaly, oh we hate anomalies
Anomaly, anomaly, gotta kill anomalies.
It's not fascist, it's not wrong, we read Plato, love the strong
Anomaly, anomaly, we all hate anomalies
Anomaly, anomaly, cannot love anomalies.
It's a choice, it's a right, kill that retard out of sight
Anomaly, anomaly, oh we hate anomalies.
Anomaly, anomaly, cannot breed anomalies."

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