Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Christians and Sex

 Historically, Christians have always attacked a free and open sexuality. Orgies are bad. Adultery is bad. Fornication is bad.  A secular person might ask, what's bad about it? All those things involve orgasms. And orgasms are awesome. And of course such a person is living in our modern society, which is a birth control society.

If you ask a Christian why he's opposed to adultery or orgies, he's likely to quote a Bible passage to you. We are followers of Christ. But if you ask an Episcopalian, no telling what he's going to say. He might quote from the Talmud. Not quite as free and open as the Unitarians, but we do read other books. So as an Episcopalian, let me just throw this out there. One of the reasons early Christians clamped down on free and easy sexuality is because of all the baby-killing that was going on. The infanticides pissed off the Christians. And the world had to change.

What this meant to early Christians is that the only acceptable sexuality was within the bounds of marriage. Thus if a man loves a woman and a woman loves a man, they are very likely to love any child they create, and not leave him on the side of the road to die. So sexuality and pregnancy was intimately connected in the early Christian brain. It is a mistake to divide them. Every time you have sex you ought to recognize the possibility that you will be creating a baby. So you better have love in your heart.

Thus Roman orgies, sport-fucking, the Playboy philosophy, casual sex, one-night stands and all the rest of it is considered bad by Christians because if you create a baby, you will feel nothing. And like the ancient Greek or the ancient Roman, you will walk away from fatherhood. You will in fact doubt whether you are the father at all. And now the mother is in the same desperate situation that women were in 2000 years ago. You didn't love her, you fucked her. And now she's fucked. And if you've ever wondered, why does this "fuck" word bother people? It bothers people because it describes a mindset that results in a dead baby. That's why.

Yet we don't see any of this in our modern world. We just see uptight Christians who are upset about free and open sexuality. We have a disconnect between sex and pregnancy. We know in the back of our minds that the two are connected. But we kid ourselves that they are not. And birth control allows us to kid ourselves.

Birth control was a fundamental event in human history. I do not think we realize how earth-shattering birth control is. What is called the sexual revolution is in many ways a reactionary movement against Christianity and its attempt to control sexuality. And the 2000 year Christian opposition to a free and open sexuality is based on a furious opposition to infanticide. Birth control gives us the illusion that we can have it all. We can have a free and open sexuality, and we can avoid all the baby-killing. We don't have to kill babies. We have birth control.

Thus in our modern society you get young people saying, with a straight face, that sex is "no big deal." This kind of apathy always seemed bizarre to me. Even when I was drunk I always thought sex was huge. Sex! I love it. You'll never convince me, never in a million years, that sex is no big deal. Yeah yeah, just the creation of humanity, that's all. Just this insanely awesome experience that is cooler than anything else in the world. Just this subterranean monster that influences almost everything I say or do. Not to go too Freudian on you, you apathetic nihilist morons. You clueless children. Did you miss an orgasm? Are you doing it wrong? Oh you damn inorgasmic silly child. You haven't had sex with me, that's your problem. I'll make you change your religion.

Anyway, sex is a big deal. Miracle of life and all that. I'll never forget Young Frankenstein, when Gene Wilder cries out, "Life! I have created human life!" Yeah yeah. Have sex with a woman, that works too, you moron. You got me with the mad scientists and the fertility specialists and the test tube babies. All trying to improve on sex.

So sex is awesome, and it is awesome precisely because every time you have sex you can have a baby. Old people sex, then, by definition is rarely awesome. Which is why you don't see too many old people in porn. We just can't work up too much lust for old people. You don't see much of them in romantic comedies, either. We like young love because young lovers get it on and start knocking out babies.

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