Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Sex is Baby

You know what they should teach in school?  Sex is baby.  If you're going to indoctrinate people, that should be your mantra.  Sex is baby, sex is baby.  At least 1.3 million people are surprised with a baby every year.  I'll bet you were having sex! 

Once you realize that sex is baby, your whole worldview changes, I swear.  You watch MTV and you see some semi-naked woman writhing around, you get a little voice in your head.  "She wants me to have a baby!  She's a baby-trap.  Alert, alert."  Hey, feminists, you worried about male lust?  Remind 'em about babies.  Nothing sucks on the ol' wallet like a baby. 

We indoctrinate our children to practice birth control.  We tell them to be scared of pregnancy.  "It's a mistake."  And then they freak out when their controls fail.  Teach 'em sex is baby.  That's a fact, man.  Trying to control birth?  Ideology.  Might be a good ideology, but it's still ideology.  Sex is baby, on the other hand, you got to be a moron to dispute that one.    

You think sex isn't baby.  You hope sex isn't baby.  And then you find out that sex is baby. 

You know that Madonna has been flaunting her sex for like thirty years now.  That is a woman who really wants a baby.  I mean, does Madonna have a baby-making drive or what? 

Once you realize that sex is baby, you don't ask dumb ass questions like why are there no old women in Hollywood?  Cause young women make babies, that's why.  Why do women try to look young?  Because young women have babies, that's why.  Why do women have breast implants?  Because baby needs a lot of milk.

See, this is why we need sex education.  Otherwise you get a bunch of dumbass citizens who think big boobs = more milk.  Men go for those big boobs cause we got a lot of babies to feed.  But A cups feed babies too, moron.  Revamp sex education.  Sex education needs work.  Sex is baby, sex is baby.   

Don't put squishy implants in your body.  That's not real milk, America, that's a squishy implant!  Baby knows the difference.  Talk to baby, he'll tell you. 

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